Behavior is communication. Children do well when they have the skills and language to communicate their thoughts and feelings effectively. Behaviors can arise when they do not. It is our responsibility to both respond appropriately and TEACH them the skills they need in order to become successful communicators of their thoughts and feelings. This is a marathon, not a sprint. But with consistency, you will begin to see your children demonstrate less behaviors over time and build confidence.
This tool focuses on
what to say and do in the moment, when emotions are high and decisions matter most. It also uses minimal language, which supports both caregivers and children during difficult moments.
Each behavior button below gives you:
- What helps (DO THIS)
- What undermines progress (NOT THAT)
- Multiple response options, because no two situations are the same
- You do not need to use every response perfectly.
- Consistency over time matters more than getting it "right" once.
HOW TO USE THIS TOOL
- Use this tool in the moment, when behavior is happening
- Choose the response that best fits the situation (in some cases it’s best to use all three options)
- Stay calm and brief
- Revisit skills later using the
How to Teach the Skills guide.
